The Dark Side of Me

I'm feeling particularly depressed, and this is what I wrote for a couple of minutes. I had just been dissed, and I don't think my diss-er understood me. I decided to vent through my favorite method of venting: writing. And I think  just might cool down.

I'm just happy that I managed to write a poem at all; I've been trying to for the past few months, and couldn't come up with one because I wasn't riled up enough.

Well.

I am now.

Here's the downside of being the girl at home.

***

The girl at home
Waiting for something to take her away.
Wishing that people didn't have to be so cruel.

Or so unreasonable.

The girl at home
She looks at them with the eyes of a hawk.
Never forgetting the satisfied look in their eyes.
Or their ignorance.

The girl at home
She believes that there is a place for her.
But it’s not a place of many people.
Or a place of silence.

The girl at home
Waging a silent war on her mistakes.
Wishing she wasn’t alone to face them.
Or too tired.

The girl at home
Smiling because it isn’t good to frown.
Because it shows that you’re either unhappy.
Or ungrateful.

The girl at home
Drowning in the things that make her forget.
About the bleakness of her future.
Or the sadness of the past.

The girl at home
Wondering if she could ever make it.
Thinking what she did to hurt others.
Or did they hurt her?

The girl at home
So sad, so cold from their words.
She tries not to wish they were cast into stone.
Or forever cursed.

The girl at home
So many emotions layered like a ruffle gown.
Either she laughs loudly to mask her feelings.
Or she is silent.

The girl at home
Escaping into her own sanctuary of darkness.
Living in the black kingdom with her secrets.
Or living a lie.